Bill's Musings

Family Traditions

2011-11-24T21:02:00.001-08:00

This past week, my six-year old grandson sent me a letter from his school asking me to share family traditions from my childhood. After reading this to the family today around the Thanksgiving table, it occurred to me that it might be of value here. Obviously each tradition is treated very briefly here, so it may well be that some are the topics of future blog posts and tweets. The following is my return letter sharing the traditions of my family. It should be noted that Grady goes to a public school and this, or portions of it, will be read to the class.

Thanksgiving Day
November 24, 2011

Dear Grady,

I’m writing to tell you about some of the traditions in ourfamily that I remember from when I was your age. It is important to know howlong some of these traditions have been in our family. It is also important toknow why some of these traditions have continued all through the years.

The first tradition that came to my mind was regular churchattendance. Our family has been one that has valued faith and a relationshipwith God. We express that relationship by getting together with God’s peopleeach week to thank Him and honor Him. We also need the encouragement of eachother as we try to live lives that are pleasing to God. My mom, your great-grandmother,was awarded a Bible for seven years of perfect Sunday School attendance. Wehave books and Bibles dating back to 1873 in the foyer at Mimi and Papa’s placethat confirm this tradition has been going for over 125 years! I hope you’llkeep this tradition going.

My dad, your great-grandfather, worked in his dad’s businesswhen I was your age. They sold Plymouth cars, Allis Chalmers tractors, andFargo trucks. He worked there with his brother and brother-in-law. He knew theimportance of work and keeping your word in dealing with people. There is apractice of character and wisdom that was practiced in our home and must bepracticed in your home in order for this to continue in our family. People willtrust a man who is consistent in keeping his word and consistent in respectingother people as having needs and ambitions just as you do. Working toaccomplish a fair deal for both you and the other person demonstrates how yourespect others. This is an important tradition to pass on to your children.

My grandfather was active in the leadership of his churchand a mentor to several men. My dad carried on in this leadership tradition andmentored in several ministries during his life. This also became a role that Iwould play in several of the churches Mimi and I attended. I have adopted alifestyle of mentoring other men. This is now a role that your dad is fillingat New Life Church as Minister to Men and both Uncle Gus and your dad leadfathering retreats to help dads learn how to be better dads. This spiritualleadership and mentoring role is becoming a tradition in our family that goesback several generations.

My dad modeled leadership in the change of direction for ourfamily. He saw some unhealthy patterns in his mom and dad’s relationship anddetermined to change some of those in his home. One of those things was that heoften told my mom how much he loved her. He said those things while we kidswere around so that we would catch a good habit and tradition. I have tried to faithfullycarry that into my marriage and hope you will do the same. I hope your wife feelstotally loved by you and your children see that love.

Your great grandfathers and great-great grandfathers werestudents and teachers of the Bible. That love of growing in the knowledge ofGod and living by those principles has carried into our family and into yours.Mimi and I are blessed to see your sisters and your cousins continue thatinterest in understanding the source of true wisdom. Hopefully you will catchthe importance of that as well.

This is the Christmas season and a tradition that has carriedforward from my grandfather (and probably his grandfather) is that we read thestory of Christ’s birth before opening the gifts that we give to each other. Itis important to remember that God’s gift to us was Christ coming to earth as ababy, who then grew up just like you and me. Many would like to take Christ outof Christmas by just calling this time of year the Holiday Season, but asChristians we do not want to forget why we have a celebration and give eachother gifts at this time of year.

These are just a few of the traditions that have beencarried down through the generations in our family. I love you and am reallyglad you asked the question about our traditions.

Papa Regehr

The Mentoring Relationship

2010-03-13T16:58:00.000-08:00

In a previous post we talked about finding a mentor. We also talked about determining our expectations beforehand as we set about the task of find a mentor. When thinking about the mentoring process, it may be helpful to get some outside insight on the range of possibilities available to you. Paul Stanley and Bobby Clinton co-authored an excellent book "Connecting The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life".

Clinton and Stanley discuss three broad categories of mentoring. They are, Intensive, Occasional and Passive. Now within each of those are more specific types of mentoring relationships and they break out as follows:

Intensive
1. Discipler - enablement in the basics of following Christ
2. Spiritual Guide - accountability, direction, and insight for questions, commitments, and decisions affecting spirituality and maturity
3. Coach - motivation, skills and application needed to meet a task, challenge
Occasional
1. Counselor - timely advice and correct perspectives on viewing self, others, circumstances, and ministry
2. Teacher - knowledge and understanding of a particular subject
3. Sponsor - Career guidance and protection as leader moves within an organization
Passive
1. Model
  - Contemporary - a living, personal model for life, ministry, or profession who is not only an example but also inspires emulation
  - Historical - a past life that teaches dynamic principles and values for life, ministry, and / or profession

As we look at the three broad categories, their primary differences are in frequency and depth of relationship.

One might think about the intensive in terms of meeting someone every week or every other week, or for a brief season more regularly than that in person or on the phone. These are people who will help you focus your life and your ministry through regular interaction. Because of the demands of life for one or both of you, quite often the intensity of these relationships is for a season in your life. Then they may gradually move into the occasional or even passive mode.

The occasional mentor would be someone who you might see on an "as needed" basis regarding a particular area of your life and / or professional development. This could be a professional counselor such as a marriage counselor. It may be a friend who has workplace related experience and wisdom that would help you. It could also be someone who intersects with your life during a particular crisis because of their journey through a similar crisis.

As the description shows, you will likely not have a personal relationship in the passive environment. This is someone you observe at work, church, or through the media. It may be someone who inspires you because of the attitudes they display after experiencing some life trauma or leadership challenge. You may find a life model

The thing I want to leave you with in this segment is the wide range of possible mentoring relationships. Don't put yourself or your potential mentor in a box. Leave yourself open to the full range of wisdom relationships. Remember that wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Finding Mentoring and Coaching

2010-03-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

In every community of which I’ve been a part, mentoring and coaching has always been a thing that has been greatly admired. Regardless of our place in life, having a mentor with whom we can share our struggles in life is a desired position. When someone says they have a mentor, they are immediately elevated another notch on the esteem scale. Not only have they desired what we all desire, they have actually found one!

What is it about a true mentor that is so appealing to us? I don’t know anyone that does not struggle with some area of life. Having access to counsel in navigating those situations is a significant source of comfort for us. Further, most of us reach a point in our lives when we accept responsibility for our own lives and as a result look beyond our parents for wisdom that would give us new insights.

How should we go about finding a mentoring and coaching relationship?

First, write down some thoughts about what you are looking for in a mentoring relationship. Some are simply looking for a relationship with an adult that they never had while they were growing up. In a sense they are looking to fill the need we all have for a caring adult that may not have been fulfilled by our parents. Others might be looking for a career coach, a spiritual guide, or marriage counselor. Still others are merely looking for a friend. It is important that you understand what you’re looking for so that you can manage your expectations.

Second, start looking in places where you would like to find someone who shares your values and that you can respect. That may be a college campus or your church or a respected colleague at work. Recognize that whatever the setting, no one is perfect, but find a person who has a reputation of being respected when they speak.

Third, find a way to be introduced to this person and then invite them to coffee or lunch or some other relaxed setting. Your first conversation should not be about mentoring. Your first conversation should be about getting to know the other person. This will give you both some insight into your compatibility. If after two or three meetings you feel there is a connection with this person and they continue to demonstrate a life well lived, ask that person whether they would be willing to mentor you.

There are many more aspects to this that we’ll discuss in other articles but to even get started on such a meaningful journey of having a mentoring and coaching influence in your life follow the above three basic steps.

Progress

2010-02-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

Progress is not an accident, but a necessity. – Herbert Spencer

Progress! Like few other civilizations, Americans have charted a course of innovation and progress. This is especially true in industry and the way we implement the sciences. But how about us as a people? What are our measures of progress as individuals? It is a common theme that unless progress is being made we are losing ground because the world around us is moving forward.
The challenge we all face is how to focus our growth in areas that matter. Permit me to suggest a few areas that you might want to consider.

Spiritual Growth

We are spiritual beings. That is what differentiates us from the animal kingdom. We were created with the need to have a relationship with our creator. How are you doing in that area? Treading water? The Bible says that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. This means that God is constantly working with you trying to help you grow in every area. Are you letting Him do His work in you and with you? How do you know you are growing?

Growth in Relationships

Very different from the early cultures that were geographically close-knit communities, we work many miles away from home, so we leave home early in the morning to “beat the traffic” and return home after dark. We pull out of our garage in the morning and drive into the garage in the evening. There is no opportunity in this scenario to interact with your neighbors. In my case, my neighbors are ¼ mile away so interaction with them is very intentional. Yet we need those relationships. We need other people in our lives and others need us in their lives. We are all uniquely made and have some gifts to contribute to the lives of those around us. Because we are uniquely made, we need the gifts of others to help us function as we should. How are you in your relationships with others? Do you have or are you building those relationships that will be mutually beneficial for many years to come?

Living beyond yourself

Is your life focused on you and your needs? Or, have you felt the need to help others with more than your money? While there are pockets of poverty, we North Americans are, for the most part, a wealthy people. We have more money than time. So when there is a need we send money and then disconnect, feeling we’ve done our part. While helping with our money is important, there are people who need a human touch. There are people who could use an encouraging word or even just a smile. Help someone make a connection to find a job, or just sit and listen to their story and talk with them about how to overcome some of the challenges they face. Get involved with a community or church initiative to help make the world around you a better place.

How are you progressing in any of these areas? There are other areas of development that we should be pursuing. Those would include skills related to our work and nurturing our families. I hope you’re working on some of these areas. Remember that there are two commandments that cover all the others. The first is to love God with all your heart, soul and mind. The second is to love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. Just food for thought.

Finding Fulfillment in Our Work

2010-02-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

I have spent 40 years working for organizations like Tip Top Hair Products, IBM, Equifax and Boys & Girls Clubs of America. With each of those companies I experienced fulfillment and satisfaction to albeit to varying degrees depending on the season and circumstances of the moment. It is fair to say that most of the time the experiences were a function of my outlook and determination to make the best out of a sometimes awkward situation.

We could get into lots of questions like, “Why do we work?” and “Where do all our years of work leave us?” I will cover those in other entries on this blog. For now let’s just look at how we find fulfillment in our work.

Purpose – Rick Warren made huge progress in our society with his book “Purpose Driven Life.” Many people read that and found they could have a purpose for living. Similarly we need to think about how our life purpose plays out in our workplace. You are a unique individual who brings a unique personality and skill set to the workplace. It is important for you to go to work with purpose, a meta-purpose, if I could say that. A meta-purpose is one that is larger than just bringing home a paycheck. As important as that might be, you will, consciously or not, impact the lives of your co-workers and clients / customers. You have a decision to make. Will that impact be positive or negative?

Outlook – The way you look at life will have an influence on the way you impact others. When business challenges come across your path, how will you deal with those? When someone else doesn’t carry their load, how will you respond? Are you so self-absorbed that you see everything in your workplace as impacting you or even targeted toward making your life miserable? We have all worked with people who are argumentative and difficult to be with in meetings. Try reaching into that person’s life. Try to understand what he or she is dealing with at home. If they need help, find a way to help them. Find a way to help that person see what they are doing to themselves in the eyes of others. The workplace is a community of people who spend more time together than each does with their own families. Why can’t we help each other deal with life?

Determination – There are indeed times when the work is hard, the hours are long, and the challenges significant. Sometimes the challenges seem insurmountable. The old saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” has an element of truth. Challenging times require individual determination and creativity of the team that understands the underlying fundamentals of the business and the challenge. Overcoming tough times together brings a sense of family and community. Today Super Bowl XLIV will be played. There has been a great deal of focus on the quarterbacks. The team that wins today, however, will be the one that pays attention to the fundamentals of the game and works together to make the big plays.

The following are a few truths to consider that a man named Paul outlined for the church:

An organization or team is a unit, requiring many roles and there are many players, they are a unit.
None of players can say of any of the other players, “I don’t need you.” They are interdependent.
Even those who might seem weaker are indispensable and those who do less visible work are also crucial to the cause.
If one player is hurting the whole team hurts, and when one experiences success it is to the credit of the whole team.

I believe these same principles apply in other areas of life including our work. Think about using these principles where you work and see how your sense of fulfillment changes. If you’re like the rest of us, work is a big part of your life. You can make a difference in your work life by adopting some of these foundational principles.

Puns for the Educated

2010-01-18T15:35:00.000-08:00

1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it".
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, ... and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

4. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with ... transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

5. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression, ... "He who has a Tate's is lost!"

6. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

7. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

8. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

10. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

You Can Tell A Lot About A Man

2009-10-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

In today's world the most basic observations will tell us a great deal about the people around us. For starters you can see the way they treat others. Most importantly, you can gain great insight by watching how a man treats his wife. Is he attentive or dismissive? Is he regarding her as an equal or just someone who does the laundry and has his children? The list could go on and on. What you see in public is not always what goes on in the privacy of the home. A well loved woman is a joy to behold and to be with. Her countenance will give you some insight to what goes on at home.

I heard a song today and thought the words were so good. The first verse gets repeated between each of the other verses and then again at the end. 'Nuff said.

You can tell a lot about a man
by the way he treats his wife
Does he make his home a haven
Or is it filled with fear and strife?
Way down deep inside of her
Is the story of his life
You can tell a lot about a man
By the way he treats his wife

Does he give an ear to listen?
Does he try to see her side?
Will he give her strong security
And arms where she can cry?
You see, the times we feel like giving up
Or holding onto pride
Are the times that God is calling us
To sacrifice our lives.

Is he diligently in fathering
Or does she feel alone?
Does he know that making love to her
Starts before he's even home?
So he calls and speaks his love to her
And listens on the phone
Cause the power of his commitment
Is found in God alone

"You Can Tell A Lot About A Man"
words and music: Terry & Barbi Franklin
© 2002 Tylis Music Co./ASCAP
Adm. By Gaither Copyright Mgt.

Worry

2009-10-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

Ps 37:1 I believe that this verse is as much a divine command as “You shall not steal” ( Ex 20:15 ). But what does it mean to fret? One person once defined it as that which makes a person rough on the surface, causing him to rub and wear himself and others away. Isn't it true that an irritable, irrational, and critical person not only wears himself out but is also very draining and tiring to others? When we worry and fret, we are a constant annoyance. This psalm not only says, “Do not fret because of evil men” but leaves no room for fretting whatsoever. It is very harmful, and God does not want us to hurt ourselves or others.

Any physician can tell you that a fit of anger is more harmful to your system than a fever and that a disposition of continual fretting is not conducive to a healthy body. The next step down from fretting is being quick-tempered, and that amounts to anger. May we set it aside once and for all and simply be obedient to the command “Do not fret.”

Margaret Bottome

News Items We Need to Hear

2009-10-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey.

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver.. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said:

Wally's Mission Statement:

To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.'

My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.'

Wally smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.'

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.'

Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard on the radio one day that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'That was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers.. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.

'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab.

I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles ... How about us?

Smile, and the whole world smiles with you...

The ball is in our hands!

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

Patriarch Part I

2009-09-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

I have been involved in writing and discussions with men on a variety of topics. Two of the issues that frequently come into the dialog are leaving a legacy and leadership in the home. Whenever they are exposed to thoughtful discussions on the topic men begin to realize that they are leaving a legacy, whether it is intentional or not. Equally challenging is the realization that, for many, the path they are on is not a model that they would want to have engraved on their tombstones. What they want to leave is the model of a man who influenced his family and those around him in the neighborhood and workplace in a positive way representing values that build up and encourage others. For most this includes leaving a significant spiritual impact as well. Men are made with a desire to leave their mark yet few have been challenged regarding the mark they are leaving. Many of our discussions then shift to what will be required to have the desired impact on the world around them.

Leadership and taking responsibility for ones own actions and for those of his family are the themes that emerge from these discussions. All too often they quickly recognize that they have not led well, if at all. The reasons men are struggling with their leadership in the home are too many to identify and discuss here. Suffice it to say that in addition to the lack of appropriate role models, a healthy form of family leadership as articulated in Ephesians 5 and 6 (the Bible) has not found its way into our homes.

Now to the point of this article. When we think of patriarchs we think of men who understand their identity, who are leaders in their homes and other areas of life, and who nuture and mentor the next generation for their time of leadership. I believe this is true regardless of one's spiritual leaning. When we think of patriarchs we think of rare individuals who have earned that badge of honor. All of us will leave a legacy, but few will be patriarchs. Few will be men that will be admired by the generations that follow as someone who intentionally invested in a positive legacy. I am still studying the concept of patriarchs and am open to the input of others as I build my definition on this topic.

Rather than figuring out how much fun we can have in this life, and how many toys we can collect, I would challenge all men to consider what they are doing to (1) be a patriarch for their family and (2) build the next generation of patriarchs. We work diligently to build a solid succession plan in our business environment, but do not do enough to lead our families thoughtfully and build the next generation of family leaders.

Let the Games Begin

2009-08-27T07:32:00.000-07:00

I just received a notice from my company advising that my pension was being reduced for additional taxes to pay for our wonderful stimulus package that has not yet been infused into the economy.

I thought it rather odd that the first tax increase was levied at senior citizens living on a fixed income. But then as I reflected further, it occurs to me that this will cost us less because we'll not be encouraged to live long lives under the new health care proposals. If they tax us it will only be for a brief period and the pain will be minimized as long term care becomes a distant memory.

The first thing that took place was taking away the COLA from Social Security recipients. According to the crack analysts at the White House, costs are not increasing. (None of them live in the real world apparently.) Now we're reducing their pensions by increasing taxes on fixed incomes. The logic seems consistent and the message is clear. If we look at the design in the health care legislation being ramrodded through Congress with very tight deadlines, the phasing out of the boomers as quickly as possible seems to be a consistent theme. There are lots of reasons our current leaders don't want debate on this legislation. Shedding light on these matters will expose the poorly thought out legal writings of those who will not be impacted by the laws they put in place.

The height of arrogance is passing legislation for the populace that will not apply to those writing and signing the hasty proposals into law. Trust in our leadership continues to plummet and will soon sink below that of the scorned previous President. In this case, however, our President is getting help from leadership in the House and Senate that are mere puppets for the White House. Washington seems more broken now than it has ever been.

The jobs have gone away, we're taking money away from those on fixed incomes to pay for stimulus money that has not been spent, and no money has been spent to create new jobs. I'm going away for a few days to reflect on what may be coming next.

Cash for Clunkers - I Qualify

2009-08-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?

American Heroes

2009-08-01T17:57:00.000-07:00

Since 2001 the U. S. has been engaged in a war resulting from an attack on our homeland. The stories coming out of the theater of battle are for the most part negative, yet we have seen major progress on multiple fronts. In addition, there are stories of heroic men and women who are risking life and limb on behalf of their country and those whose freedoms they are defending. These are real heroes, not sports stars, or the latest rising entertainment phenom, or this politician or that wall street "genius."

There are real heroes making real sacrifices for very little money to keep our country safe and the terrorists off balance. People who are giving their lives or suffering lifelong personal injuries for a cause they believe in. They are people who make occasional mistakes but in the overwhelming majority are doing great and heroic work. Our press are quick to vilify them and the cause because of their missteps. People who have yet to personally witness any of the hardships and daily danger our troops endure, make large amounts of money speculating how our men and women should have known better or responded differently. They spend nearly no time telling us about the successes and bravery of your neighbors and my neighbors children. Perhaps even of our own children. I have three friends with family members about to be deployed into the arena of battle. I fear less for their lives than for the public humiliation our press subjects these people to every day.

Oliver North has spent 30 plus years in uniform, and has been on the ground in Iraq and other areas as a correspondent for Fox News. He has interviewed literally thousands of our troops, both on the front lines and in the hospitals recuperating from their permanent injuries. Ollie, as many call him, has assembled a book call American Heroes in the Fight Against Radical Islam. The book is a collection of stories and observations from the time he has spent with the troops on the front lines. His most recent revision of American Heroes includes stories from Afghanistan. It is refreshing and encouraging to read about the spirit of these young men and women. It is exciting to see that they are very clear about their mission and how they are progressing with that mission. Here is one excerpt:

"Open police stations and girls' schools on the mean streets of Ramadi may not appear to be great victories to the critics of this war. However, they are precisely the kind of events that resulted from Sattar's "Awakening." They're also significant to the U.S. troops who help make them happen.
"While we were visiting the school, I asked a young Marine corporal what he was doing in Iraq. "We're here to win," he responded, looking squarely into our TV camera - a more intimidating experience for him than the enemy fire he often faced on the streets of the beleaguered city.
"When I pressed this twenty-year-old from the heartland of America to tell me what "winning" meant to him, he was straightforward: "That's when these people don't need me to guard this street so their kids can go to school - when they can do it themselves."
"The belief that the Iraqi people would be able to "do it themselves" was evident in numerous other actions we documented - events that contradicted much of what the American people were being fed by the mainstream media and partisan political opponents at home. According to conventional wisdom, the Iraqis were unwilling to fight for themselves and were on the bring of a suicidal Sunni vs. Shia civil war. But that's not what we found on this trip to Al Anbar. ..."

I wish I could reproduce the book here or give all of you a copy of it. I would encourage everyone who reads this to go out and buy a copy of this first hand account of what is really going on with the honorable men and women who are fighting on our behalf. Read it and be encouraged.

Desperately In Need Of An Ethical Bailout

2009-07-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a topic for some time now regarding the state of ethics in the marketplace and government leadership. As a subscriber to CBMC International's Monday Manna weekly observations regarding issues in the marketplace I enjoy their weekly articles on matters germain to Christians in the marketplace. This week, Rick Boxx, a frequent contributor expressed well what I've been working to put together. Upon receiving his permission to reproduce this piece here, I am making it available to all who take time to read my musings. I hope you'll take time to read this insightful obseration.

MONDAY MANNA - A service to the business community July 13, 2009

DESPERATELY IN NEED OF AN ETHICAL ‘BAILOUT’
By: Rick Boxx

Adversity often has a way of bringing out the worst in people. The ongoing global economic challenges have served to expose the depths of our moral depravity. We have heard and read numerous instances in which financial calamity has resulted in unethical and immoral behavior. When markets collapse, people become understandably anxious and want to regain any money they have lost. But this does not excuse fraud and deceitful activity – the end does not justify the means. In seeking to find solutions to the economic recession, government leaders have proposed – and in some cases instituted – financial “bailouts,” providing huge amounts of funds to sustain various industries. It is my belief, however, that instead of a financial bailout, what we need most is an ethical bailout.

Whether it has been the subprime loan crisis, elected officials selling political favors, or an internationally known financial advisor allegedly duping some of the wealthiest people in the world in an elaborate investment scheme, the fundamental underlying issue for each these scandals has been the same: a chronic lack of integrity. At its essence, integrity is an outward manifestation of inner character. What we do – and how we do it – reflects who we really are on the inside. Sadly, strong character is not something that can be learned through curriculum while pursuing an MBA at a top business school. And we do not find character among the required categories listed on a top executive’s curriculum vitae. It is a quality that must be cultivated over time.

Some factors, however, can help to develop and sustain true integrity. One of them is a healthy dose of fear. Unfortunately, many of our most prominent business and professional leaders no longer fear the law, their customers, or even their own conscience. They have grown calloused, hardened, to revered, time-tested values such as honesty, trustworthiness, quality and excellence. All that matters for them are their own selfish goals.

What will it take to bail out our morality, to restore a climate of high ethical standards in the 21st century marketplace? Let me suggest that we consult an ancient, yet timeless resource – the Bible. In its pages we find an unlimited supply of wisdom and guidance for working and living in a consistent, forthright manner that keeps everyone’s best interests in the forefront.

Proverbs 16:6, found in the Bible’s Old Testament, provides a good start. It says, "By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil.” Many of us have lost “the fear of the Lord,” the conviction that God holds us accountable for our actions.

There is another important aspect to “the fear of the Lord” that can help in restoring a strong ethical environment in the workplace. We read in Proverbs 1:7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” In a world of growing uncertainty and unpredictability, who could not use more wisdom and knowledge? This is one of the great promises God makes to those who follow Him.

Do you see people in your workplace who have become desensitized morally and ethically? Pray for them to discover the fear of the Lord and the need to atone for their immorality. Only God can provide an ethical bailout.

Copyright 2009, Integrity Resource Center, Inc. Adapted with permission from "Integrity Moments with Rick Boxx," a commentary on issues of integrity in the workplace from a Christian perspective. For more information about receiving Integrity Moments in their e-mail box, write to: rboxx@IntegrityMoments.com and type "subscribe" in the subject line or visit his website, www.IntegrityResource.org.

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Reflection/Discussion Questions

1. During the recent economic downturn, have you observed people bending, or even breaking, ethical barriers? What would be an example of what you have seen – or have even been tempted to do yourself?

2. Do you agree with the contention by Rick Boxx that even more than a financial bailout, many of today’s workplace leaders are in need of an ethical bailout?

3. If it were up to you, what steps would you put in place for restoring high ethical and moral standards in the business and professional world?

4. How would regaining “the fear of the Lord” affect ethical behavior in the marketplace, if at all, in your opinion? Is that even a realistic expectation? Explain your answer.

NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more about this subject, consider the following passages:

Proverbs 10:9, 11:1, 11:3, 13:6, 15:27, 19:5; Luke 12:42-48, 16:10-13; Philippians 4:8-9

The Pinnacle of Life

2009-06-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

I've had some new thoughts passed my way recently and am using this vehicle to muse over them in my own words. They have to do with "arriving" as a culmination of one's life.

Dr. Robert Clinton has posited in his book "The Making of a Leader" that there are five phases of leadership development, particularly that of a Christian leader who engages in ministry. While my summarizations are gross over-simplifications, the five phases are:

Sovereign Foundations (God's truths are built into us)

Inner-Life Growth (We develop our own personal faith)

Ministry Maturing (God places us in ministry that allows us to work out our faith)

Life Maturing (We are able to blend faith, ministry and life issues based on experience)

Convergence (God is able to use us in a place that becomes the culmination of our life work and ministry)

Without going into the detail of each, the concept is that in each phase God works in us to teach us things about ourselves and the leadership model that He desires for us. Even in our various ministry assignments, God is more about working in us and bringing us to greater maturity and Christlikeness than He is about working through us. While we can be certain that He is accomplishing multiple purposes simultaneously, His primary mission is that of working in us and completing His work in us. The goal is to bring us to a place where our gift-mix, spiritual maturity and life maturity are able to converge and we are able to carry out ministry naturally out of what we are and what God has accomplished in us. This is a preferred outcome rather than carrying out ministry because of our personal extensive ministry experience or secular career achievements.

Interestingly, Clinton states that few ever get to live out ministry in a position of convergence, for the most part because we allow ourselves to be caught in positions that limit the use of our gift-mix. My belief is that even though convergence may be reached in one sense, His work is never finished in us and so we continue a cycle of learning, growth and maturing until we are ready for the next cycle.

Doing Life In Training

2009-06-30T17:26:00.000-07:00

I've had several people talk to me about my retirement even though I was still employed while those conversations were being held. Because I had moved into a part time role with my current employer, many viewed that as going into retirement. The mindset is that if you're not working full-time, you're not really contributing and have really retired. There are many other options to be considered such as making significant contributions to the organization in new ways, transition from one phase to another, or going into a mode of still contributing to something bigger than yourself while finding time for those things that are personal priorities.

Retirement is not a concept that is consistent with the rest of life. All of life is a training ground for your finest moments. I am reminded that Moses began his most significant role when he was in his 70s. Similarly, his successor, Joshua, began his most significant role most likely when he was in his 60s.

What is it about us that makes us think that after 40 years of training, gathering wisdom born from experience, and building relationships, we should step aside and go into a season of inactivity and non-involvement? With the aging of the boomer generation, more and more organizations are coming to grips with the void of wisdom, knowledge and experience that they face if all those people just walk away at age 60 or 62 or even 65. It would seem that pathways need to be found to keep these people engaged at some level as a part of their "business and personal continuity" plan. Business continuity planning is not simply a function of disaster recovery, but ensuring the on-going stability of the organization.

My mentoring relationships are built primarily on the perspective that years of experience in many areas of life bring. After 30 years with a Fortune 10 company, 7 years as part of the senior management team of a national leader among non-profits, 43 years of marriage, 20+ years of church leadership, and scores of mentoring situations over 20+ years, it would seem to be a waste to retire and fade into the woodwork. Rather, I am looking forward to my next and perhaps greatest assignment. Stephen Covey refers to this as living life in crescendo.

I challenge everyone to consider where they are headed and how their current, past and future experiences might prepare them for roles yet unknown. Living life intentionally and preparing for future roles will prepare you not for stepping out of the game but stepping up your game for significance and into that which will energize and sustain you. Active and fulfilled people live longer and happier lives. Be one!

How the Mighty Fall

2009-06-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

Jim Collins has written a recent book entitled "How the Mighty Fall and why some companies Never Give In". This subject is as germain to personal life as it is to corporate life. This past week another high profile individual confessed to an adulterous affair casting doubt on his ability to continue leading effectively. For some of us this raises the question, "How do affairs happen?" While the scheduling of yesterday's message was planned more than a month ago, the timeliness of our pastor's message couldn't have been more appropriate.

I would encourage you to go to http://www.newlifechurch.org/displaypodcast.jsp?id=6 to listen to the entirety of the message. Key points from the message based on Proverbs chapter 5 are:

Four lies we help ourselves believe:

I deserve to be happy
Another man or woman can make me happy
I married the wrong person so I deserve another chance
I'm not good at marriage so just want to get out

There are 12 steps we take as we move down the slippery slope toward an affair and our own ruin:

Something makes you lean away from your marriage
You develop an awareness of another person
Innocent meetings open the door for flirting
Meetings become intentional and aer planned by at least one party
In group settings the two linger for conversation
Conversation topics slip to feelings
Isolated meetings are scheduled under the guise of legitimate purpose
Isolated meetings begin to happen for pleasure
Embraces become affectionate and pleasurable touching begins
Embraces become passionate
Adultery happens
Affair is made public

Based on feedback from those who have gone down this path there are two truths to keep in mind:

It will cost more than we think - Proverbs 5:7-14
The blessing is at home - Proverbs 5:15-19

How to affair-proof your marriage:

Pray with your spouse
Date one-another and be date-able
Talk openly about temptations
Stay accountable
Praise each other

Thoughts on accountability:

Person should be more spiritually mature than you are
while it is ok to include your spouse it needs to be someone other than your spouse
it needs to be someone who can help

These are the 'cliff notes' on the message. I thought it was timely, appropriate and uncommon teaching to be hearing from the church where it ought to be taught with greater regularity.

Again I urge you to click on the link: http://www.newlifechurch.org/displaypodcast.jsp?id=6 to get the full story on this timely message from Pastor Brady Boyd.

Getting the Right People into the Right Seats on the Bus

2009-06-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

Peter Drucker has written, "By and large, executives make poor promotion and staffing decisions. By all accounts, their batting average is no better than .333: at most one-third of such decisions turn out right; one-third are minimally effective; and one-third are out-right failures." While those of us in executive positions might initially protest his assessment, his base of experience and our personal honesty, will ultimately prove the truth of what he says.

In our haste to fill vacant positions, we tend to focus on technical points in the resume, rather than working to match the character of the individual with the leadership and character needs of the position. There are times when we concede to the politically correct decision rather than pursuing the best candidate for the job. At other times we promote and / or hire only for the immediate position rather than looking at the long term potential the candidate has within the organization. All of this leads to the success rate proposed by Mr. Drucker.

True leadership casts a vision and then staffs to fulfill that vision. Winston Churchill had three basic principles when it came to choosing personnel. "First, ignore seniority, and pick the person you think is best suited for the job. Second, have your main plans in mind before you pick your executives, so that they are serving your designs and not their own. Third, start at the top, rather than at the bottom." It is critically important to have a vision in mind before you start filling positions. Executives will sign on to a vision much more quickly than they will enlist for a position description or defined tasks. Those with executive ability must be able to first and foremost lead their teams to accomplish the vision.

Once they have signed on, they, in turn will staff to accomplish their contribution to the overall vision. In an existing and well developed organization, the staff is pretty much in place so it becomes the new executive's challenge to help the existing team succeed or find replacements for those who might not be in the right seats or perhaps aren't even on the bus. At times leaders will put a high priority on replacing executives with those who will blend well with the existing team and lose sight of the candidate who will bring the greatest success accomplishing the vision.

Suffice it to say that there is much work to be done in the training of leaders (executives and others) regarding staffing for success. With all the leadership material available today, not enough is focused on this important aspect of visionary leadership and accomplishing those visions.

2009-06-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

“Nothing Replaces a Daddy” – Lt. Col. Oliver North

The following story is an excerpt from Lt. Col. Oliver North’s new release, American Heroes: In the Fight Against Radical Islam.

“The explosion of a carefully planted IED mangled Sgt Edwards below his body armor. The first person to him was U.S. Navy medical Corpsman Christopher Anderson. The man they called “Doc” Anderson immediately applied tourniquets to Edwards’ shattered limbs and started an IV to ward off shock.

As they raced for the LZZ to meet an inbound casualty-evacuation helicopter, Edwards looked up at the man who was checking his pulse and said, ‘take care of my babies, Doc.’

Anderson shouted back, ‘You’re going to take care of your babies. You’re going to be OK!’

Marine Sgt Gregory Edwards was on his third deployment to Iraq when new wounds sent him back to Walter Reed. In 2003 he had been part of the initial assault on Baghdad and saw the statue of Saddam Hussein toppled. He’d been wounded on his second deployment and spent time recovering at Bethesda and Walter Reed. When 1st Bn, 6th Marines, was slated for a third deployment, he insisted on going along.

This time, however Gregory Edwards’ road to recovery would never end. Though the doctors operated on him more than thirty times, they couldn’t save his shattered legs. When all the surgery was done, he had one stump above the knee, a stump below the other knee, and only one functioning hand.

‘I lost my legs for the people of Iraq, so their children will be able to run around, just like mine. If time was turned back, I’d do it all over again,” said Sgt Edwards, father of two.”

This excerpt, taken from American Heroes, is dedicated to the hundreds of thousands of fathers who are standing on the front lines of war while their families anxiously await their return home.

“These ‘heroes on the home front’ are essential for the strength of our military as a whole and for the defense of this nation,” said Lt. Col. North.

To celebrate Father's Day and honor the tremendous sacrifice made by so many fathers since the beginning of the war on terror, Lt. Col. North has made signed copies of his book available on his website, www.olivernorth.com, throughout the month of June.

With more than 350 full-color images and exclusive access to even more stories from inside the trenches online, American Heroes presents a no-holds-barred, up-close look at this generation’s citizen soldiers who have chosen the path of the patriot to go into harm’s way.

Families in Trying Times

2009-03-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

We tend to go through life viewing the events going on in the world with a sad but disconnected perspective. The economic crisis has untold millions of tragic stories, but because of the sheer scale of the situation, we choose to focus on our own little world. Yes, it is true that individually we are unable to solve the issues facing our world leaders today. We are not able to address the political realities of a world filled with hate and disregard of the rights of others. There are a fair number of troubled people in our world who commit heinous acts such as the pastor who was shot in his church last Sunday, or the young man who invaded our church in the Springs a little over a year ago, or the endless stream of killings taking place in our cities. For most of us those killed or injured are just a name on the news. Another sad story. We see the stories of the wars and other difficulties in the Middle East and Afghanistan. We know that many of our brave men have lost their lives. And still it is a news story coming from a media that we don't fully trust. A media who turns too many stories into self serving bully pulpits. So until we are personally impacted by a life changing injury or the death of a loved one we remain somewhat distant and aloof.

I had the privilege this morning of sitting over breakfast with four fathers and hearing their stories. One has been devastated by the economic collapse and the other three are in the military. The one caught in the economic climate is digging hard and trying everything he knows how to do to preserve his dignity and family. One of the military dads is scrambling to complete the building of a loft bed for his daughter before he is deployed in the next 60 days. Another will be deployed in May and is working to move his kids from one school to another to change the social environment for his early teen son who has made some poor choices as friends. The third military dad is in the honor guard that attends all military funerals for his base. He has the responsibility for presenting the flag to the surviving family members. He too will likely be deployed this year for yet another tour. The three military dads are keenly interested in doing things well for their families. They want to be better dads which is what brought us all together. Like the rest of us, all are somewhere on their spiritual journeys and I know all are in the process of growing on that journey. They are dads who love their wives and their children. Going away for many months and putting themselves in harms way is not high on their list of things to do.

I share this not to decry our military activities abroad as we protect the freedom of others around the world, but to remind us that these "brave soldiers" are real people with families who go through gut wrenching tension and anxiety as they fulfill their duties. My admiration for them has grown a hundred fold today. I have once again been reminded of the very real sacrifices these men and women make as they serve our country. It would be a wonderful world if all nations lived at peace with one another and valued human life while providing even basic human dignity to their people. But the world is not like that. We see it in our own country. We have to have police and fire services to deal with the seamy side of life here in the U.S.A.

At an individual level, I think there are some small steps each of us can take not to solve the problems of the world, but to be a blessing to those who are willingly giving themselves for our country and to protect our way of life. If you have the opportunity, I would encourage you to adopt one military service man or woman and their family. Or adopt a police officer's or fireman's family. These are people who are putting their lives on the line for us each and every day. This does not have to be a costly venture. Notes of encouragement and remembering these families in prayer would go a long way to helping these families deal with the trauma of not knowing when they will get "the call" or that "knock on the door." I could go on and on about my feelings today but will limit my comments for now and stand ready to engage with readers who care to comment on these thoughts.

There are two commandments that cover all others. The first is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Is there a more deserving group to be the beneficiaries of our love for our neighbors?

I will post to this blog links to websites that can be trusted to help facilitate the support of military men and women and their families.

Beginnings and Endings

2009-02-26T17:06:00.000-08:00

Robert Lewis says that marriage is really a series of different marriages or what someone has called serial monogamy. By this he means that I'm not the same person my wonderful wife married 42+ years ago. By the same token neither is she the same person. We have both moved through different seasons of life and rarely simultaneously. Thus as each partner moves through a new season, the nature of the marriage relationship changes. Change is constantly taking place.

These changes are sometimes very gradual and at other times quite sudden. At times the gradual changes seem sudden because they go unnoticed until we wake up and realize things aren't the same. In some cases change is event driven, such as the loss / death of significant people in our lives, or changes at work or even loss of employment. In other cases they are the result of learning from a series of life experiences. Some of these seasons can be predicted by observing trends in the general population. Many men go through some form of mid-life crisis, and many women go through changes as they carry and bear children or come to realize they may never experience that blessing. We are also influenced by others in our spheres of influence.

Each time we enter a new season there is a beginning of a new phase of a relationship. In the same way, there is an end to what the relationship was. In our marriages, we look back to the vows made as we committed to do life together with this man or woman. We remember that we committed to do this for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. We need to give each other room to move within the relationship with the freedom of knowing our love will continue to mature and grow. It is important that we invest in each other so that we do grow and mature, so that things do change. Regardless of how good we believe things are, it is important that there be endings to the way things were and new beginnings with new opportunities to build stronger relationships.

In our friendships and other relationships, different life events bring very different results and as a result we see a natural ebb and flow of friendships, save for those very few who care enough to ride through thick and thin with us. We know or come to know where those special relationships are only by traveling hard roads together. Those relationships ought to be building us up to be better people and encouraging us as we work through difficult life situations. All too often I see people clinging to relationships that add nothing to their lives and in fact these relationships only serve to either use up our energies or even drag us down. Any long term relationship needs to be made up of mutual give and take. Outside of a mentoring relationship, any relationship where one party is continuously on the giving end is not a healthy relationship. It is fair to say that, in my experience, most mentoring relationships demonstrate some level of give and take.

When relationships are no longer working we need to either figure out how to fix them or move on. This does not require a scene and formal separation. We've all seen relationships drift apart naturally. We need to be comfortable with allowing that to happen in our unhealthy relationships. We also need to be mindful of the fact that we can only maintain a small number of close relationships. One might think that the 12 disciples Christ chose were all his closest friends. Yet even within that group of 12, there were 3 (Peter, James and John) who were particularly close to him. So you see, it is perfectly fine to be friends with people without being what comedienne Jeanne Robertson calls their "bestest" friends.

So why have I undertaken to express these thoughts?

First, life is short, invest your time wisely. If you're in a marriage relationship, I would encourage to invest all your energies into making that relationship work. Help and encourage each other to grow inside the context of your marriage. Divorce ought to be the last option pursued only after all other possibilities have been given serious trial.

Secondly, life is short, invest your time wisely. With your non-marital relationships, make sure there is mutual benefit. Your contributions to the relationship should be comparable. Recognize when you're carrying a relationship with a taker. This is not to mean that there are not some obviously needy people in the world that need our help for a season. The relationships I'm talking about are those that give nothing back to you. Either you are constantly initiating or you are continually being called upon. Even some mentoring relationships need to be called out when there is no real progress being evidenced. Assess your relationships and allow those for which there is no return on investment currently or foreseeable to fade away. If they won't fade away (and some will not) be prepared to bring them to a logical conclusion.

Lastly, moving some relationships from your closest circle to one that is cordial and friendly permits you to focus on those people who really are encouraging to you and helping you to grow. Invite someone that you've always respected into your home or for a night out, just to create the opportunity for a new relationship to begin.

There is much more to be said on this topic, but my initial thoughts are (1) create and support an environment where husband and wife are able to grow within the marriage relationship and (2) manage your time wisely by investing in relationships that are mutually beneficial and where you are having a real impact, in the case of mentors with proteges. Just a few things to think about. Obviously all comments, observations and questions are more than welcome.

Lessons from the John Deere Tractor Book

2009-02-06T10:46:00.000-08:00

While studying my John Deere tractor book (see pic), I was reminded of a couple of biblical truths that we too often forget or neglect.

The first has to do with community and the reality that each person is part of a community. Back in the 1500's John Donne penned the words "No man is an island." Everyone is a part of the whole. "Do not ask for who the bell tolls, it tolls for thee," is another part of that same devotional. Whenever the bell tolls announcing the passing of a life, it tolls for the rest of mankind. Mankind is the poorer for everyone that passes into the next life. We all have a contribution to make and the loss of even a single life means that the rest of us will no longer have access to that contribution. Thus the importance of building a legacy. What is the legacy will you leave behind when your peeps will no longer have access to your contributions? Will you leave a legacy that will live on because you faithfully invested in others?

The second has to do with our role in being part of a community. The Bible says that God has built or knit together the body of Christ with the gifts needed for that community. You have a role to play. In my John Deere tractor book, it shows that different tractors play different roles on the farm. Big tractors for heavy jobs and smaller ones for lighter tasks. Everyone has a part to play to make the community stronger. While we're making our contribution, we are also learning from others in the community because they are playing their role. Jethro came alongside Moses to provide a helpful tip on carrying out his responsibilities more efficiently. Paul came alongside Timothy to help and encourage him as he carried on the ministry in his arena of influence. Paul's letters to Timothy are classic mentor to protege communications. Timothy, too had a role he needed to play and performed better because Paul had made significant contributions into his life.

In the grand scheme of things, Facebook is a recent arrival on the scene. It is yet another tool of the community. The beauty of this tool is that it allows us to be part of a community without geographic boundaries. We have the ability to encourage and challenge one another. I have the ability to reach across the miles and yes, even back across time to encourage lives that I've touched in the past. How many of you have connected with and encouraged high school or college classmates.

The whole process of blogging is another tool of the global community. It enables us to reflect and share thoughts much like I am doing here. Hopefully, these thoughts will encourage someone else to reflect on how they are contributing to the community. These tools enable us to think beyond ourselves and to work for the benefit of the whole.

There is a saying that "It takes a village." I have been strengthened because of my participation in the community. No one person has the answer to all of life's issues any more. As a result it truly does take a village of different people with different life experiences to help me along the path. The book of Hebrews challenges us to give serious thought to how we might spur each other on toward love and good deeds. I'd encourage all to heed this advice as we each play an integral role in those communities (families, churches, schools, neighborhoods, work environments, etc.) we are a part of.

God's Love

2009-01-08T09:48:00.000-08:00

Our understanding of God and His character is a never ending journey. You need to know that I am still processing the implications of a demonstration of truth discovered this morning.

I was reading in the book of Joshua this morning and tripped across a scene that I had read multiple times but somehow skimmed over a significant truth. The Bible is repleat with passages declaring God's love for the world and for us while we were yet sinners. John 3:16 and Romans 5:8 are notable among those texts. Yet, there is a scene in the book of Joshua chapter 5 verses 13 - 15 that caught my attention today in an extraordinary way. While I urge the reader to look up this text and give it some study and reflection, I'll include the passage here for the sake of simplicity:

"Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, "Are you for us or for our enemies?"

"Neither," he replied, "but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come." Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, "What message does my Lord have for his servant?"

The commander of the Lord's army replied, "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy." And Joshua did so."

That's it! That is all that is shared of this scene ... no more, no less.

Here's the deal ... God had just led the children of Israel out of Egypt, protected and provided for them on a 40 year journey in the wilderness, made a big deal about his servant, Moses not entering the land of promise and choosing Joshua to lead his people. One more time he dried up some serious water (this time a flooded Jordan River) so the Israelites could cross over. He had committed that he would give this land to his people. In the latest round, he had all the Israelite men circumcised before they could begin their conquest of the land of Canaan. The people get through that and have just celebrated the Passover to remember the deliverance out of Egypt by the hand of God.

Now Joshua sees this guy in the field near Jericho and asks him on whose side he is. The man says he is the commander of the Lord's army and then says NEITHER!?!

I must confess that I was incredulous when I read this piece this morning. Neither? Has God forgotten what he is about to do for the Israelites in the land of Canaan? What is up with that? Since he chose to share that brief incident with us in the scriptures, we must assume he wants to say something(s) to us. Where do we go with this?

First, I would say, Joshua's question was focused on him and his people. My first takeaway is that God wants us to be on his side rather than him being on our side.

Secondly, we must conclude that this is a demonstration of God's love for all mankind. He doesn't take sides in the ways we think of or as we would like him to do.

God is righteous, just, holy, jealous and a host of other attributes that can be ascribed to him. Yet in this piece I see God's love, love for a people who shortly would be destroyed because of their sin, love that is demonstrated in a refusal to take one side over the other ... remember that we're all sinners. In this I see God's love for the sinner. Aside from the cross, where can you get a stronger demonstration of God's love for ALL mankind.

All too often we disassociate ourselves from those who don't have a personal relationship with God. We avoid those with certain sins in their lives. Yet what are we to expect from people who don't know God? We effectively block ourselves from delivering God's love to those around us. In our world we are quick to choose sides between nations at odds with each other. We pray that God would have one side or the other prevail. Yet what God wants is for the sin of not loving our neighbors as ourselves to stop. What God wants is that we would get past the "sides" issue and see the people involved as eternal beings who will spend eternity somewhere ... either heaven or hell. To get to the point of the second great commandment ... to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves.

Let's be careful before engaging in 'holy wars' or idealogical crusades to make sure that our hearts are aligned with the heart of God. I think we need to call sin for what it is. But, lets guard our hearts regarding treatment of the sinner(s)... the people, our brothers and sisters. One thing is clear ... God LOVES the sinner ... after all, he loved you and me and died for you and me while we were still sinners.

A significant wake up call for me today. There are probably lots of words could clarify my thoughts, and I would welcome them. As I said on facebook, I'm blown away by the way that God loves the WHOLE world. In the context of scripture, this is an outlandish display of that love.

Living Life In Crescendo

2009-01-03T07:46:00.001-08:00

I've had this philosophy about stewardship of the 62 years that God has invested in me. I've felt that I should not go sit on the sidelines and put the years of experiences, life lessons and professional skills on the shelf. There has been a sense that with all that I've experienced and learned, my best work should be before me.

Today while researching leadership character traits and habits, I stumbled upon a word that has described my feelings and I'm delighted. Steven Covey used this word in his blog and it is "Crescendo." Life is built on a series of experiences and ought to be an on-going process. What is it about the American culture that suggests we work hard, build our skills, learn new things each day, build relationships and networks only to hang it up one day and go sit on the beach or play golf? What a tremendous waste of skills, gifts and knowledge.

I want my children and grandchildren to see that we're in the game to play, to contribute and to finish the race, until God takes us out of the race. From time to time our platform for service may change, but as each one fades, new opportunities arise that need to be pursued and used as further opportunities for learning and making significant contributions.

All this to say ... Live life in crescendo!

Lessons of the Tumbleweed

2008-11-19T14:55:00.000-08:00

Today I had the opportunity for another first in my life. I pulled tumbleweed that had grown on the hill sloping away from the driveway. I learned something in that interaction with God's creation. Tumbleweeds have almost no root structure and thus require little wind to uproot and blow them across the prairie.

I thought about how the tumbleweed is like so many in this world who lean this way and that depending on which direction the winds are blowing. No doubt, you too, know people who have no foundation and move with the ebb and flow of the winds of favor at the office, among their peers, friends, or the community. As a result they are unreliable people who are unpredictable and have no broad foundation or guiding principles for their truth system.

How do you define truth? Is it definable by an organization or political party? Or by a particular manager or leader? Is it based on the opinion polls of the day or the Supreme Court? Anyone who leans with any of the above is to be pitied and will be an unreliable source of counsel for you.

I have based my truth system on the Bible because it does not change and has not changed over the years. Being the instruction book of the triune God, the truths contained there have been in effect before the earth came to be. They will be there long after the earth ceases in its present form. I want to be known as one of those reliable men who can be entrusted with wisdom and truth. I want to pass on those truths to others in a manner consistent with good interpretation of the entire text. By holding to these truths I will not be like the tumbleweed. I will know truth and be able to share that truth regardless of the politics of the moment.

Praying that you will find the Bible worthy of providing your foundation.

The Underlying Truth of the 2008 Election

2008-11-05T20:40:00.000-08:00

The recent election has brought to mind the disparity of views within the Christian community. Both candidates are excellent communicators that were able to polarize people toward their position(s). This brings with it an emotional response that makes it hard to imagine how anyone could possibly vote for the other candidate. I found myself in this mode of thought during this campaign as well, but have the good fortune of having friends with more balanced views. Views that permitted them to step back and take a different perspective across a spectrum of observations. Interestingly, of two close friends I respect, each chose a different candidate.

It is important to keep in mind that God put the various kingdoms in place and puts the people He chooses in charge of each. (Daniel 4:17) Given the state of our world, that concept will put one's theology to the test. Yet, this truth is valid not only for the US of A, but also for every kingdom in this world. At the time this truth was declared, a guy named Daniel was living in captivity as an Israelite in the land of Babylon. This truth was true of the Babylonian empire as well as for every kingdom before then and since then. Talk about a test of faith!

What is the point? If you profess to subscribe to a scriptural world view, you have little choice but to gratefully get on board with what God has accomplished in this election and support the authorities He has put in place. There will be differences of opinion with Obama's execution of his responsibilities as there are with every President. Not many of us have agreed with all the decisions of any particular President. The apostle Paul enjoins us to obey those God has put in authority over us. At the time he wrote this (Romans 13:1ff) Nero was in charge of the Roman empire which had taken over Israel.

So, my friends, if you're inclined to show your dissatisfaction with the outcome of the election, consider how God has set up His world and let us say "Yay, God!" and pray for our President-elect, keeping our eyes on the author and finisher of our faith, who puts people in charge and takes them out. He gave our forefathers the wisdom to set the presidency up for four-year terms with a maximum of two consecutive terms. These rules apply for Democrats, Republicans or any other party that might come into power. This is a great nation! Our form of government leaves us bewildered at times, but it is better than any other system in the world!

Men and Manhood

2008-10-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

It seems that recently I've had multiple opportunities to study and discuss the role of men. Somewhat adjacent to that is the definition of manhood. How does a man know he's a man?

Girls maturing into women experience some very obvious and some not so obvious physical changes that confirm their womanhood. Men have no such natural confirmation. In many cases they don't even have the confirmation of others.

The world of men is one of competition and continual challenge. Winning becomes a symbol of manhood. This is empty affirmation because there is always someone new to challenge your past winnings. How can a man become comfortable with his own skin, when he no longer has to prove anything to demonstrate his masculinity?

The most recent opportunity is one that is seeking an agenda of topics that are critical for men to hear. While this is anticipated to be delivered under the umbrella of a church organization, I would love nothing better than to create an agenda that would appeal to those outside the church as well. If we're serious about providing a service to the community we should be able to help men who are confused about their roles clarify that position.

The jails are full of men who acted out of confusion over their roles. Confusion causes men to treat women poorly because they see them as things to be used rather than real people who are to be protected and loved. Confusion causes men to leave women in charge of single parent homes as they abandon roles and responsibilities they don't understand. Confusion has men abusing their families rather than modeling leadership and taking responsibility for developing encouraging relationships with their children. This is followed by generations of confused men acting out frustration, while their families pray for someone to come along and break the cycle. The list goes on and on and on.

I would welcome input from readers of this blog regarding topics that must be addressed with men. Among the topics included would be the following:

- defining manhood
- temptations of men
- integrity in the workplace
- leadership lessons for men
- building a model for fathering
- helping your son become a man
- for the single man - selecting an appropriate mate
- the responsible single male

This is not an all-inclusive list. Again, any and all input is welcome.

Question of the day

2008-10-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

What is it in a boy / man's make up that compels him to put something tall atop a mound of dirt. Watch a boy create a mound of sand or dirt. Soon to follow will be a stick or some other object that is elevated by the mound. Comments please.

Reckless Words

2008-08-07T15:47:00.000-07:00

Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Think before opening your mouth to offer an opinion. Think about the implications of what you are about to say. A word spoken in anger or without consideration of what you are committing to can leave you in a very awkward place. Your comments may put others in an awkward position.

Make sure every word is filled with grace. This means that your words should not deliver judgment or inflict damage to another person’s reputation, if at all possible. There are times when another person’s actions or words put them in a bad place and there is no way to protect them when truth is spoken. Be careful to speak the truth in love not in retaliation or out of anger.

The book of James speaks about the problems our tongues can bring to us. The words of James regarding the management of our words are worth repeating here.

“Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.“ James 3:1-12

How often I have said things only to later realize that I did not have a complete picture. Had I been slower to speak my words may have offered different counsel. There is wisdom in the proverb that says: “Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.” (Prov. 10:14)

When our words are filled with grace rather than throwing salt on a wound or accusing or gossip, we have the opportunity to build reptuations as men who respect others and build others up. The world around us is driven by bad news and casting doubt on people's intentions. Quite often these negative tones come from self promotion by minimizing the efforts of the next person. We should be men of integrity and not stoop to the standards of this world. No one know the intentions of a man's heart but he and God. All we can see is what is on the outside. Let us not judge men by the outward appearance. If God loves each one of us, so then, should we demonstrate love for each other. Our speech should be the first place we show that love. Actions need to follow, but let your speech be filled with generosity, kindness and understanding. Think about how a few reckless words will impact the next person and very likely harm your reputation.

On Fathers

2008-07-27T19:25:00.000-07:00

A. W. Tozer said in his book Knowledge of the Holy "What comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you." What comes into your mind when you think about God will determine how you view the scriptures, grace, love, justice, holiness, what's required to get into heaven, and a vast array of other perspectives which we carry about subconsciously every day of our lives. It has often been said that our view of God the Father is a reflection of our view of our earthly fathers. This places a huge responsibility on fathers.

As fathers, we have a responsibility to help our families develop a balanced biblical view of God and what relationship with Him really means. By balanced I mean that our perspective needs to be supported by the totality of scripture rather than accentuating one verse or taking statements out of context. How we participate in the home, how we demonstrate love in the home to our wives and our children, how and when we administer grace, forgiveness and discipline will give them earthly examples of heavenly principles.

I've just returned from a 3-day Father Son Retreat with Compass Ministries. While my two sons-in-law led the retreat, my role was to drive the "water buffalo" loaded with drinks for the dads and their sons, and then to be the "wise old owl" (well maybe just the old owl) available for just listening and chatting with fathers who needed to talk. There were a couple of key points that I took away from the retreat. First, it was evident to me that all the men had a deep desire to do a better job of being fathers. Secondly, many of them have little opportunity for peer relationships focused on being better leaders in their homes. Lastly, a significant number of these men recognize the need for sharing their loads and hearing affirmation and / or ideas on others ways to handle situations and welcome the opportunity to learn from other dads.

We simply must find ways to motivate fathers to engage in peer to peer or mentoring relationships that will help them improve their practice of the art of fathering. This is an art and not a science. There is no textbook. The Bible provides many principles and some direction but leaves a great deal of the actual day to day particulars up to the fathers who must find ways to improve our leadership skills and delivery.

4th of July

2008-07-04T06:03:00.000-07:00

Today is the 4th of July. Having read David McCullough's 1776 and John Adams I have a greater appreciation for the bravery, faith and commitment that the men had who signed the Declaration of Independence.

As with Veterans Day, I use this day to honor the men who gave years of their lives and sometimes their lives to serve this great nation. We are blessed that there are men and women who are willing to sacrifice everything for the freedoms we enjoy.

We're going to the 4th of July parade in Monument, CO this morning. It is without a doubt the best 4th of July parade I've seen. All the kids and grandkids will be there to enjoy the festivities. Another opportunity for a great family memory.

May God bless you all, and God bless America.

Family Life Ephesians 5:22 - 6:4

2008-03-08T16:45:00.000-08:00

This passage too often is quoted only for the wives submitting to their husbands. In a healthy home life, the husband has created an environment where the wife willingly submits to the wisdom and loving care of her husband. To the generations that follow I would suggest that this passage depicts a healthy home model; one where the husband is a godly man who loves his wife as Christ loved the church. This does not mean he is a religious man. Rather, it means that he is a man after God’s own heart. He is a man who is wise and understands himself and his role from God’s perspective. He a man who does not provoke his children to anger, but rather treats them with love and respect.

Wives should submit to their husbands because Christ has charged them to lead the home. The scriptures are full of references about cranky and nagging wives. These passages on husbands and wives bring out the importance of selecting a mate who will help you and encourage you in the faith. A Christ centered home is not without problems but the ability to use your faith and the scriptures as a common sounding board for truth and balance in your marriage will quiet many a disagreement. The ability to pray together about various issues and trials you will face will create a bond in your marriage that the world can never know. Listen carefully to how your spouse prays.

Joshua once said, “... choose you this day whom you will serve .... as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15) Joshua accepted the responsibility for the direction his family had taken and would take in the future. As men the responsibility is clearly ours. We carry that responsibility from the day we’re born until the day we die. Keep yourself in perspective as you grow in wisdom and knowledge and as you prepare for marriage and selecting the wife with whom you will spend the rest of your life. Keep yourself in perspective as you lead your family. Do not be a hindrance to your family’s relationship with God. Rather, build them up, be a model of God’s man in your home that will draw your family closer to God because of the way you conduct yourself.

The Path of Wisdom

2008-03-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

The next series of postings will be reflections that I would pass on to my children and grandchildren. They are components of a compilation of wisdom observations that my son-in-law requested I put in writing to pass on to him and to his sons. When given such a task one quickly realizes the magnitude of the challenge.

Psalm 78:5-8 tells us that God wants us to pass His laws on to our children so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7 He says, "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

This series of postings is about living out the instructions of the Lord in passing His wisdom along to the next generations. Out of expediency, the observations are not intended to be comprehensive dissertations. Rather they should be considered words that provoke personal reflection and further study in the Book of all Wisdom, the Bible.

May our God be glorified by the sharing of these thoughts.

Grandchildren are a crown for the aged

2007-11-12T19:45:00.000-08:00

At last we're moved into our home in Colorado Springs. While we were moving in, I took Matthew (9) to The Home Depot in the pickup. It was a real man's trip. Matthew loves to draw and he really likes the mechanical pencil we keep in the truck. Besides being able to put back the unused lead, it has a large soft eraser.

Matthew: Papa, I really like the big eraser on your pencil.
Papa: Papa had to put a big eraser on the pencil because I make a lot of mistakes.
Matthew: (Thoughtful pause) Yeah ... old people make a lot of mistakes.

The grandkids (the four that are old enough) just love riding their bikes and scooters up and down our driveway. I never dreamed our driveway would be such a great source of joy and entertainment. Actually I thought more about how am I going to get all the snow off the driveway.

Settling into our new home with the family around regularly is great confirmation that we're exactly where we need to be.

We are blessed!

Lessons of the Day

2007-08-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

Notes from today's sermon. The text was Genesis 41 - 50. The message was one of the best I've heard taken from the life of Joseph.

As Architect, God has a plan for my life.

As General Contractor, God uses others to accomplish His will in my life.

Examples from history:

After God told Moses that he would lead the people of Israel out of Egypt Moses spent 20 years in the wilderness.

After God anointed David as the next king of Israel he spent years on the run from Saul who hunted for David with intent to kill him.

After giving Joseph the vision that he would lead his brothers Joseph was sold into slavery and thrown into prison.

Your gifts do not make you useful to God. What makes you useful is what God does in your life.

There is no such a thing as wasting time when you're waiting on God. We're not going anywhere until it is God time.

When God's hand is on you even unbelievers praise God.

So much for sayings and platitudes. Where does this leave me? The very abbreviated version goes like this.

I have been blessed to see how God has had His hand on so many aspects of our move to Colorado. There are enough signs that I truly believe that He has a plan for us in that new location. The highlights include the sale of our home without putting it on the market in a year when the real estate market went in the tank. We were the only home declared privately to be "available" in the May to July time frame. Immediately after our sale, four homes went on the market. As if to put His signature on this deal, a contract was received after the home suffered major water damage from a second story pipe leak. The only time the wife saw the home was when it was torn up for repairs. Then we were blessed with a gracious and professional insurance company in Liberty Mutual. Their handling of the claim allowed us to put the home in even better shape than it had been before the damage.

He has provided us with a builder that can be trusted and who is an elder in our Colorado church. When building a custom home from a distance of 1,500 miles, that is a very important ingredient. In addition, He has provided lots of encouragement along the way with networking connections for employment opportunities and very viable alternatives that can be woven together to make the employment transition a smooth one. The stories around this aspect of the move are too numerous to outline here. The timing of Judy's employment situation at the church is more perfect than any human, even those who lead the church, could have orchestrated over such a period of time.

We've both come through a period of significant ministry roles. Now we're in a season of being refreshed and looking forward to our next opportunities.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. God does have a plan for both of us as a couple and individually. The exciting part is waiting to see how this all turns out. Our prayer is that the world will praise the God of Heaven when the rest of the story becomes known.

Grace Alive

2007-08-11T18:14:00.000-07:00

As He is wont to do with great regularity, the Lord highlighted a passage from Nahum 2 several years ago. I have repeatedly been reminded of that passage since that time because of its applicability to activity in general across the body of Christ. The passage comes in the context of a warning of destruction to the city of Nineveh and describes an attack by the Lord's armies. In verses 5 and 6 Nahum writes: "He summons his picked troops, yet they stumble on their way. They dash to the city wall; the protective shield is put in place. The river gates are thrown open and the palace collapses."

It is important in light of this description that we exercise all the grace we can muster as various ones of us "dash to the city walls" because none of us does it perfectly. This would describe believers well since we are a chosen people yet we stumble on our way to taking up the spiritual battles we've been called to fight. It is important to note that the Lord causes the palace to collapse (gives the victory) in spite of the way we carry out our portion of the battle.

He said My grace is sufficient for you. Before we even take up the charge He has extended us grace. How important it is for us then to grant grace to those whom we might humanly be prone to criticize. I was reminded of this truth this evening while with friends that God uses to speak into our hearts. Without being asked our friend had extended forgiveness for various behavior patterns that had caused discord in the body. Such a grace is an indication of the maturity of the individual but also is a model we need to have constantly before us as a reminder of what God through Christ set at the core of our faith.

Placement of Trust

2007-08-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

Question of the day ... Am I trusting in my own efforts or in God who is sovereign of the universe?

Answer: Yes and Yes. I find myself living on both sides of this question depending on the area of life you care to address or ... it may vary by the moment of the day.

Observation: Try as we might to be consistently committed to our truth system, we all have areas of inconsistency.

Verse of the day: We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6

Christ died while we were still sinners. PTL! God has a plan that works far better than anything my simple mind can conceive.

Friends

2007-08-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed with good friends.

It is very hard to develop close relationships. Because of that we are truly blessed when others cross our paths in such a way as to bring lifetime friendship. I've been reflecting on good friends that we've collected along our journey through life. These are people with whom we share our joys and our pains and the sharing is reciprocated. It is one thing to be open with another person, but quite another yet when that person is willing to share their good news and bad news with you. The mutuality of such a relationship brings a richness of life and a huge responsibility.

The responsibility comes during that season, as happens in all relationships including marriages, that some distance or coolness inexplicably occurs. A lifetime kind of friend leans in and works to eliminate the distance. The Bible says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Be thankful for the lifers. I spent a night at the movies with such friends last night. I am very, very blessed.

The Path of Life

2007-07-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

This has been a difficult year due to the deaths of both my dad (January '07) and mom (May '07). Experiencing all of this in the space of four months has given me new insights into the mourning process. There is a feeling of emptiness when it comes to meaningful thought.

There is a great deal going on in our lives at this time. We're building a home (stressful enough in its own space) with the intent of creating a place for our family to build memories that will last for generations. The implications of such a move are vast and more than I'm going to express here. Losing both parents in the middle of that process places an urgency on the matter of proximity to family. At the same time it puts our new home into eternal perspective which almost trivializes it.

We had a great family while I was growing up. No it wasn't perfect, but by the standards of this world I was incredibly blessed to be raised as I was. That blessing was experienced in the context of very modest financial resources. I won't say we were poor, because I've observed poverty all over the world. I can say we lived modestly in the context of our community and friends. There were lots of things our friends were able to have and do that we just couldn't afford. In our home, Mom and Dad loved each other and were not shy about expressing their love in front of us. There was no doubt by me or my two siblings that we were loved equally by both of our parents. We have a lot of great memories that gave us character and make us the people we are today.

By those standards, we are building a place for our family that would be defined by some as living large. The point is that in the context of this year's events, the tension being self-inflicted in creating our new home is unnecessary. Whether we have this place completed as planned or an apartment is irrelevant. The important point is that there is a home where our children and grandchildren feel loved and cared for. All the "stuff" is icing on the cake.

The grieving process is just that; a process. We are human beings. My wife and I are people of faith. Over the years God has built our faith in many significant ways. We know that our parents are spending eternity with our heavenly Father and we will see them when our turn comes to pass from this life here on earth. I think too often evangelical Christians give the impression that this faith somehow exempts them from the sense of loss and emptiness when people they love are promoted to heaven. Very quickly we like to respond to expressions of sympathy with statements saying that we know where they are and all is well with the world. After all a person of strong faith should not be shaken.

While our faith is not shaken, our day-to-day existence in this world is very different. I've lost two friends, counselors and advisors and prayer warriors. I've also lost two people who needed me to reach out to them, to advise them from my current experiences, to ensure they were getting the right medical attention, to make sure they continued to treat each other as they had in their younger more expressive days. I believe that to love and be loved is a basic human need. That love includes needing others and others needing you. Therein lies the void that is created when two people who brought you into this world move into eternity.

I celebrate their current life while knowing that my children and grandchildren will never fully experience the full benefit of their love that only time and life together could have provided. My family and children's families are their fruit. We're going to represent them well by continuing in the faith they seeded in our lives and by providing loving homes filled with life-long love and commitment to our spouses and children.

The Starfish and The Spider

2006-11-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

The book "The Starfish and The Spider" written by Ori Brafman is a challenging work when thinking of the new world. Blogs, such as this one, are a part of that new world. Empowering independent contributions such as the Wikipedia does is a remarkable phenomenon. The thoughts expressed in this book regarding leaderless organizations gives a lot of food for thought.

Can independently operated entities such as Boys & Girls Clubs become stronger and more prolific if given the right fuel and environment for growth? Can catalytic leadership enlist the energies of the best leaders in the Movement to carry us to the next levels of service and presence in our communities?

How to best leverage the strength of our federated autonomous framework while still keeping everyone focused on critical issues, is the question of the day.

I am excited to be part of the leadership team that will wrestle with these and many other questions. There are many who are satisfied with the status quo of plugging along throwing money around and trying to fund growth. Once the Movement reaches a certain size there isn't enough money to go around to generate the exponential growth that is needed to ensure service to youth everywhere in this country and beyond our borders. Is it not better to challenge the local leaders toward support or assimilation of weaker neighboring Clubs to shore up or eliminate weak links?

The end of the story is still to be told. We must rise to the opportunity to push for impactful growth planting seeds in more and more neighborhoods giving hope and opportunity to America's youth.

David McCullough's 1776

2006-07-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading 1776. This is a compelling story of the birth of our country and the struggle surrounding Congress' issuance of the Declaration of Independence. I highly recommend this book to everyone.

It provides unusual insight into the American spirit. The persistence of the common men who joined Washington's army is cause for celebration and provides inspiration.

The leadership of General Washington, like most men, was less than perfect, but nonethless is a model of leading by example and personal challenge to a higher cause. The book carries a great study of the making of a military leader and ultimately the leader of the American people.

A great read. Well researched and documented with details beyond description.

Get it and read it.

Heading for Colorado Springs

2006-05-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

In the context of our value for family we're planning a move to Colorado Springs sometime in 2007. The grandchildren give us another opportunity to impact a future generation.

The picture shows the view of Pikes Peak from our property north of "the Springs" which we feel will allow us to celebrate our children and grandchildren. We're really looking forward to creating a homesite that will serve us all well.

Family

2005-06-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

We've just completed a four-night Disney Cruise with all the kids and grandkids. It was during this cruise that I realized that I had personally progressed to the point of once again being an active participant in the life of the family. Having come through a very difficult time, there was a period of withdrawal and loss of confidence. I have been so incredibly blessed!

My great wife has been reading Joyce Meyers' Approval Addiction which has given us the opportunity to talk of where we have anchored our faith and search for approval. The cruise gave us additional time to reflect on the source of our faith and values. Thankfully, God has made Himself known to us each step of the way and we've continued to look to Him to provide confirmation and affirmation. Having said that, I recognize that there can be and have been extended times of seeming silence. On the other side of those silent times, we've looked back to see that God has been at work in so many ways. Our faith is much stronger today than it has ever been in our lives and we are confident that God is doing a significant work in our lives and in the life of our church.

Anyone looking for fun for the whole family should consider a Disney Cruise. They have found a way to provide an exciting environment for kids, young people and grandparents. It is truly a thing of beauty to see it come together with all age groups participating.

That's it for now. More later.

On to something thoughtful ...

2004-12-21T17:44:00.000-08:00

Reflecting on season of life ... 2 beautiful daughters grown, each married to a wonderful man, each with two children, 4 grandchildren (2 granddaughters, 2 grandsons), a fantastic wife of 38 years going on 39 ... reminiscent of Jack Benny's magical number 39 ... perhaps we'll stay on 39 for awhile. Yet, aging beats the alternative ... so we'll press on to 40 or more if God permits.

How did I get here and what is God doing in my life at this particular point in time? Both good questions to consider. Better question ... What will I do with today and tomorrow? How will I invest my time?

Fifty-eight years is a lot of time to consider for reflection. Yet it takes some period of time to develop trends, to be able to look back and see life in ways we cannot see it in the present. We deal with life today as it is dealt to us in ways developed through our life experiences and training.

Challenges faced at this particular time are to ensure we're dealing with life from a healthy perspective coming out of a traumatic five-year experience. The experiences of the past create a certain tentativeness that is uncharacteristic. The tentativeness seems to come out of my concern for the approval of men rather than the approval of God. I've tracked to the approval of God in the past, but men have judged the results of the past to be unnecessary. So like many, I pursue the approval of men, doing my best to live at peace with all men and still honor the God who created me and provided for my salvation.

Enough thinking for now. There are some thoughts above that I've not verbalized before that require reflection.

Blogging

2004-12-21T17:11:00.000-08:00

Having read several blogs, it would appear that there is so much being written that goes pretty much unnoticed unless someone scrolls through the blogs. These blogs don't appear in any search engine. But I'm an old guy venturing into a young person's world. We'll see what happens.

Purpose

2004-12-21T15:06:00.000-08:00

Everything ... even blogs should have a purpose. The purpose of this blog is to post personal musings and if anyone looks at this blog there would be an opportunity for exchange of ideas.